Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize