he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
