Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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