on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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