i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
