A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Are my feet made of real feet?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
