Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
