We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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