i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Damn victory sex feels great
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
