I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
