break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
