So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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