but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
