you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize