I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
