Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
