Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
FUCK WHALES
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize