I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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