I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
