Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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