i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
