Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
