people are starting to question the shark bite story
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
