Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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