im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
