I wish I could punch you in the face.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
My ass is underappreciated
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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