So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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