More tranny stories later!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
