I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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