I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
