yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
