Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
