Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
