I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
