He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
