haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
