it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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