I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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