maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize