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Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
