I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
