Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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