I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
