Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
