p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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