I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
