is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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