She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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