One girl and one boy is just not enough.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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