You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
