sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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