The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
