My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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