I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
