Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
His nipple licking is glorious
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