Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
