She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
