It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize