everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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