Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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