We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
