I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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