I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize