White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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