O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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