in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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