Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
