You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
