we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize