I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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