she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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