I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
