She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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