Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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