My nipple is on Facebook.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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