I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
