youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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