Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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