gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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